They say juggling is an art form. Well, I’m convinced that being a working mom is the Cirque du Soleil of life. There are balls in the air at all times: work deadlines, schedules, a house that seems to spontaneously generate clutter, and let’s not forget, my adorable but oh-so-demanding fur baby, Oora.
I used to think I could conquer the world. Pre-family, pre-partner, I was invincible. Cold coffee was my only vice, and sleep was a mere suggestion. Fast forward a few years, and my world revolves around my furry baby, my super busy on teams husband, my ‘what should i cook today?’, endless furry floors, and trying to remember if I brushed my teeth this morning.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The pressure to be a superwoman at work and a domestic goddess at home is relentless. But let’s be real, we’re not superheroes. We’re just normal people trying to do our best.
Over time, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about finding balance that I’d love to share with you. It’s a journey, and while no one has all the answers, these tips have made a huge difference for me.
1. Embrace the Imperfection
One of the first things I had to learn was to let go of the idea of perfection. I used to believe that if I planned everything perfectly, I could manage both work and family without dropping the ball. But the truth is, life is messy, and things don’t always go as planned.
For example, there was a week where everything went wrong—projects were delayed at work, Oora got sick, and I missed an important family puja. I was crushed and felt like I had failed. But then I realized that beating myself up wasn’t helping anyone. Instead, I started to embrace the imperfections and recognize that doing my best was more than enough.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Accept that you won’t be able to do everything perfectly, and that’s okay.
- Focus on What Matters: Prioritize what’s truly important and let go of the rest.
2. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work
I’m lucky to have an amazing partner. We’re a team, and we’re in this together. We’ve had our fair share of disagreements about who takes Oora for walk or who’s responsible for cooking, but we’ve learned to communicate.
It’s important to divide responsibilities fairly. We’ve found that creating a shared calendar has been a game-changer. We can see everyone’s schedule at a glance and plan accordingly. It’s also crucial to have regular check-ins to discuss how things are going and make adjustments as needed.
- Have some quality time with your better half: Its difficult I know, but its important. Go on dates, explore new places with each other. That neighbour of your who loves to play with Oora can keep her for an hour or 2.
- Team Up: Include your family in your planning and decision-making.
- Share the Load: Don’t be afraid to ask for help and delegate tasks when needed.
3. Setting Boundaries
I used to feel guilty about saying no. I wanted to be available for everyone, all the time. But I’ve realized that setting boundaries is essential for my sanity. It’s okay to say no to extra projects at work or to decline social invitations when you don’t feel like going.
I’ve also learned to protect my downtime. When I’m with my family, I try to be fully present. That means putting away my phone and focusing on the moment. I created a rule that once I was home, work had to wait until my husband and Oora were in bed. No more checking emails at the dinner table or taking calls during family time. It wasn’t easy at first, but over time, these boundaries became second nature. It’s amazing how much more connected I feel to my family when I’m not constantly checking emails.
- Define Your Limits: Know your limits and communicate them clearly to others.
- Protect Family Time: Make family time sacred and stick to it, even when work demands pile up.
4. Asking for Help
Pride comes before a fall, right? I used to be so stubborn about doing everything myself. But I’ve realized that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether it’s enlisting the help of family, friends, or hiring a cleaning service, accepting support can make a huge difference.
5. Prioritize Self-Care
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that taking care of myself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When I’m running on empty, I’m not doing anyone any favors. But when I make time for self-care, I’m more patient, present, and productive, both at work and at home.
I used to think that self-care meant taking a whole day off for a spa trip or a weekend getaway. But I’ve since realized that it’s about finding small moments each day to recharge. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk during lunch, a few pages of a good book before bed, or a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, these moments add up and make a big difference.
- Make Time for Yourself: Even if it’s just a few minutes a day, find time to do something that recharges you.
- Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to signs of stress and burnout, and take action to address them.
6. Be Present in the Moment
One thing I’ve noticed is how easy it is to be physically present but mentally elsewhere. There were times when I’d be with my family, but my mind would still be at work, thinking about deadlines or unfinished tasks.
I’ve worked hard to practice being fully present in whatever I’m doing. When I’m at work, I focus on work. When I’m with my family, I put my phone away and give them my full attention. It’s not always easy, but it’s made a huge difference in my relationships and overall happiness.
- Practice Mindfulness: Focus on being fully present in each moment, whether at work or home.
- Limit Distractions: Turn off notifications, put away devices, and give your full attention to what matters.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
Finally, I’ve learned the importance of celebrating the small wins. It’s easy to get caught up in the big picture and feel overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. But taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest accomplishments can boost your morale and keep you motivated.
I started doing this by keeping a journal where I’d jot down one thing I was proud of each day. It could be something as simple as finishing a work project on time or having a meaningful conversation with my husband or cooking something which I thought was not my cuop of tea. Looking back at these entries reminds me of all the progress I’ve made, even on the toughest days.
- Acknowledge Progress: Take time to celebrate small victories and milestones.
- Reflect on Achievements: Keep a journal or list of daily accomplishments to remind yourself of your progress.
8. Finding Joy in the Little Things
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and forget to appreciate the small moments. I’ve learned to find joy in the simple things, like cuddling with my partner, going for a walk with Oora, or enjoying a small cup of strawberry flavoured greek yoghurt when the other two are fast asleep (winks). The best time of my day is when i go out for moring walk with my husband and Oora, its the time when we are away from all the chaos, breathing in fresh air and seeing Oora play around and deciding what to eat for breakfast. It sounds normal right? But thats about it. Its special. And I look forward to this time everyday.
Winding up with
Balancing work and family is a journey, not a destination. It’s a path filled with challenges, triumphs, and endless learning opportunities. While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, by embracing imperfection, setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, we can navigate this complex terrain with grace and resilience.
Remember, every working family’s story is unique. What works for one family might not work for another. The key is to find what resonates with you, to celebrate small victories, and to be kind to yourself.
Ultimately, it’s about creating a life that feels fulfilling and balanced, where work and family coexist harmoniously. Let’s continue to inspire and uplift each other on this shared journey. After all, we’re in this together.
